Oh, New Jersey - you never disappoint

I have to say that I have been so anxious to watch the season three opener of RHONJ. Literally (imagine Rachel Zoe here) lit-ter-al-lee dying. But the boyfriend’s been home, quality time, yadda yadda yadda – you know the drill.

So I finally sit down to watch and it definitely does not disappoint. Let’s start with the Battle Italia between Teresa, Joe, her snobby sister-in-law and awful brother. Loyalty people. Loyalty. And can I just say how much I love Teresa with straight hair. What a difference it makes! It’s nice to see them taking everything, the bankruptcy and everything else, so well.

And Caroline – she has lost so much weight! I mean, she looks amazing but I liked her with a little more meat on her bones. Either way – she’s still incredible.

Ok – it’s been two seasons and it’s time for me to admit something. I think I can finally say, without regret, that I have an absolute crush on Albie. He’s gorgeous, comes from a good family, great teeth and great personality. Sure, he has mommy issues but when your mother is Caroline, I don’t blame you for wanting to live at home that long. Besides, he’s Italian – it’s expected that they live at home and have abnormally close relationships with their moms.

So I can’t imagine how Jacqueline’s daughter landed a job with Lizzie Grubman, Hollywood PR guru. I’m sure I could probably connect the dots if I tried, but I won’t. No time to do that as I work my way up the ladder like a normal person. I’m just saying…

But I digress. Really though, who cries in front of their boss like that? Ashley is upset that her mom talked about raising her and working for her money at her job but she’s the one who brought up needing money to move to the city in the first place. I love Jacqueline but her daughter is a major drama queen.

So meeting the new women is interesting. I feel like Melissa is the New Jersey version of Alexis. I’ve joked about wanting to just sit around and be a housewife while my husband works and brings home the “bacon” but these women make it seem like you have to be a slave to your husband in exchange for nice clothes, nice cars and big houses. Um, no thank you.

And Kathy is a strange one. Her grocery store slash cooking experience was just odd. It’ll be interesting to see how things pan out with this whole Teresa/Kathy/Melissa triangle. Nothing good can come out of it, I can tell you that much.

So I thought it was a little petty that Joe G. didn’t go to the church but I think fighting with your family like that is just horrible. You don’t get to choose who you fall in love with and you definitely don’t get to choose their family but you do need to learn how to live with it.

They have a ridiculous amount of family drama. It makes for good TV, though.

So everyone is making it seem that Joe G. is the bad guy here. But all that alcohol mixed with the family drama definitely caused this craziness.

It’s really sad watching this family fall apart. I hope it doesn’t continue like this all season. Watching the women fight with Danielle was entertaining but watching a family fight like this is heartbreaking.

The season still looks incredible though. So until next time…

Back to blondes, bigotry and broke boyfriends

Oh and boobs. Can't forget those. Ok, so I know I haven’t really talked about the blondes of Orange County but after last week, I’m not sure I can help it. I’m so looking forward to watching Alexis crumble. Last week was so pathetic. I mean, how ridiculous is it that she can’t go to a dinner without her husband? Her explanation to Peggy was weak. And like Peggy said, isn’t she a good Christian? Then again, I’m sure God doesn’t approve of paid-in-full boobs the size of Mount Rushmore.

There's dependent and needy and then there's independent and demanding. I feel bad for Vicki’s husband. He seems like he is trying, always, and she doesn’t appreciate it. It seems like a two-way thing but I also feiel like she could be a little less, umm, bitchy. Yes, that’s it. Just the word I was looking for. But I guess we only see what is shown on camera.

As for Tamra, the little lesbian devil, I just think it’s funny. These women are going to get so offended by her and I think it’s great. Can you imagine how Alexis will react? She’ll probably kneel down right then and there and start praying.

I’m still not sure how I feel about Peggy. I have a “love her, love her not” emotional roller-coaster with her. Every other episode I like her. This one is going well so far.

It is really funny that Slade’s mom is accusing him of not having a real job. I wish they would have that conversation in front of Gretchen. It just doesn’t seem like they’re really in love and I don’t understand what is keeping her there. He has no money, he’s not good looking and I just don’t get it. Besides, he is more like Gretchen’s assistant than her boyfriend.

Alexis’ photo shoot is a joke. Actually, her whole dress line is a joke. She is NOT a model. She looks like a complete fool trying to pose. She is beyond full of herself and it’s really sickening to watch. That photo with the black and white dress was so scandalous. And then the blue dress with the sparkles looked like she was getting ready to, well, no need to go into the gory details . Alexis is a massive hypocrite. One minute she’s sticking out her butt for some action and the next minute she’s talking about how God meant for men to be the leaders in the relationship. I’m pretty sure the big man upstairs didn’t write the bible to mean women should be slaves to their husbands.

Well, more California craziness next week. Until then…

Nothing like a little bit of Bethenny to get a girl back on track...

I know it’s been awhile but I’m back. Don’t think I’ve missed out on any shows during my blogging absence (never!) but I’ve been so far behind I thought it pointless to share my thoughts on something that happened weeks before I watched it. Even today, I’m writing about the latest in the life of Ms. Bethenny from last Monday. But hey, a girl’s gotta get back in the game at some point.

You better believe when RHONJ starts back up I will be very much on top of my stuff. But for now, I’ll try my very best to keep up.

So Bethenny has just been crazy this season. Not crazy drama, just plain crazy but that’s why we love her. And this episode, she says it herself when introducing her life to her new nanny. “Why sugarcoat it, right?”

The fact that this nanny is also a hairdresser probably makes up for the fact that she is a bit socially awkward. I’m sure a few weeks with Bethenny and she’ll come right out of her shell. I think Jason and Bethenny are the cutest. They are truly best friends which I love. And he knows her so well. Like the number of states Skinny Girl is in. He tells her 40 and she asks about the rest of them – just as he guessed she would.

I am such a PR person because as they discuss how they’ll go from 13 to 40 states, I’m thinking --- you could really use some brand management and promotion. I wonder who her publicist is…

I love her analogy of her life to a 54 year old man’s – cracking me up as always. Her walk on the beach and crazy dance party makes we want to drive to SoCal right now and just forget everything! I think my next vacation is going to be at that beach house. How incredible?

I’m looking forward to the RV trip on the next episode. Love the wrapped vehicle!

Well my reality peeps, until next time…

Meatballs in Miami, and I'm not talking about the food

I know I keep saying this, but I really do not at all love the Miami season. I’ve just been dying for some real drama. And when I say drama, I’m not talking about someone getting upset over a dead pig (no offense veggie peeps).

But I have to say the second Larsa walked into Café Martorano, I started to drool. I love, love, love that restaurant. His Italian comfort food is incredible. So naturally, I knew this was going to be a hard episode to watch. I’m going to be dreaming about those meatballs tonight. If you haven’t tried them, you must!

Ok – so the young girls that Lea went to speak to, seemed completely uninterested, disengaged and unimpressed. I was actually embarrassed for her. For such a “successful” woman, she is completely unaware as to how to share her knowledge.

This cooking lesson is hilarious, though. Everyone seems a little uncomfortable with the in-your-face, rough, Italian attitude. But things didn’t really get uncomfortable until Adriana decided to confront Crissy about not paying for a ticket to Lea’s charity event.

Adriana seems to consistently complain about the drama in her life, yet she continues to bring it upon herself. I really don’t get this show sometimes. If you are going to say something on camera, whether it’s in your interviews or to someone else, that person you are talking about is going to hear it. So why not just ‘fess up to how you feel and confront the issue.

If only these people grew up in a Jewish-Italian household. They would be in for a big shock.

Well, at least we won’t have to suffer much longer. Perhaps we’ll get one decent episode before it’s over. Season finale next week. Until then…

Miami finally turns up the heat

To be honest, I wasn’t thrilled about the Miami Housewives and I was largely underwhelmed with the first two episodes. But alas, the third episode finally brought on some drama. Well, technically it started at the end of the second episode – classic Bravo cliffhanger. I couldn’t wait to see the look on Cristy’s face when she received that invoice from Lea but, of course, they’ll leave that until next time.

But this time we can talk about Larsa. She’s pretty enough and has a beautiful family. At this point, though, she just seems so self-involved. I do like that she takes her son car shopping and he isn’t allowed a super luxurious car. A Toyota is sensible. But her “wheeling and dealing” skills are awful. She took the first offer the guy gave her. I mean, I know she can afford a car three times that price, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try to save a little.

So, if you’ve ever heard the saying “look at a woman’s mother because that’s what she’ll be in 20 years” than you should be very scared for Phillippe. Marysol’s mother is difficult to look. The only parts of her face that move are her lips (which I’m surprised by) and her eyes. I do love that she’s a little kooky.

I have to say, Adriana’s art show wasn’t bad. It was actually the artwork that was boring. I could do that with a camera and good editing software. If I were there, I would have been thankful for the surprise performance by the other artist. Perhaps, the artist should have worked a little harder to make his show better and she wouldn’t have needed to resort to bringing in a second artist. Adriana did put on the drama right in the middle of her show and that’s just bad for business.

I am actually looking forward to the next episode. So until then…

Parties, makeovers and role playing

I too want a “fantastic gay ornament coming over with a satchel of jewels.” I’ll also take the makeup artist, hair stylist and personal assistant. I do love that Bethenny had a hairstylist come and put her hair in a ponytail. Nothing special. I must say, though, her Loubie pumps are fabulous!

I am dying to try that burger stand they went to before the US Weekly party. Pop Burger. Saw it on the Travel Channel’s Man V. Food and it looks incredible! Her love for food is great. I’ve met few people in my life who get as excited about food as I do. If I could afford a personal trainer, I’d eat a whole lot more, much more often.

I’ve officially decided that at the end of each argument, I’m going to say “Because I’m a difficult human being.” And I will expect people to just take that as a conclusion to our discussion – the only reason I need for acting the way I do. Works for Bethenny.

She is such a genuine person, though. She isn’t perfect but she’s real. I love that she did that makeover for her assistant. What a difference?!

This role playing is cracking me up! I love that guys think it’s that easy to get a girl in bed. But truly, some girls are that easy. The difference comes where you try that on the girl you ended up with because it’s likely that you chose a girl that is the complete opposite of all the other girls you’ve “dated.”

I agree with Bethenny (well, her therapist) that there is no normal. I actually think if there was a normal, it would be the people who have families with issues – the divorced parents, the parents who don’t get along, the families who, despite their issues, are totally nuts.

I truly can’t get enough of this woman. She’s fabulous. So until next time…

And then there was one...

So it is apparent that Brad and Chantal have a connection. It's also apparent that Chantal looks like a lobster. I guess they don't sell sunblock in South Africa.

So it seems like his parents like her. Until they meet Emily anyway. Now I know I'm partial because Emily has been my favorite since the first day but she is just "so dang cute." That's my Emily lingo.

I just think Chantal is such a drama queen. I mean, she threw such a fit about going shark diving. I would probably be a little scared but she freaks out.

I'm just over her emotional roller coaster. And she could have zipped up the wetsuit. I mean, We know you have boobs. We don't need to see almost all of them.

Her letter was really sweet but I just don't feel like Brad feels the same way.

He is so much more affectionate with Emily. But he's honestly being weird on their date. Well, not the night part. He's totally reaffirming his feelings for her which he did not do for Chantal.

But she's pushing a little hard on the "do you know what you're getting into" conversation. I guess she needs to be wary because it is more than just her. She has her daughter to think about. But he is truly putting his heart out there and she is pushing him away.

I can't believe it's finally here. Who knows who it will be?! Well, Reality Steve says Chantal. I say that ring screams Emily.

First, the fashion. I knew earlier what the women would be wearing. I love Emily's dress. I love Chantal's but it looked much better on the runway.

So Chantal gets out of the limo first. Normally that means she's a goner. But he totally fooled her with the beginning part of that conversation. Way to drag it out and make it tougher.

But I'm glad he picked Emily. So happy actually. And that proposal was incredible. I'm such a sap.

Well, I'm going to watch "After the Final Rose." Until next time Bachelor fans...










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