Monday, September 5, 2011

The rich and, um, real housewives of Beverly Hills are back

First thing's first, Bravo did a tasteful job of confronting the issue that we've all been wondering about and that is how they were going to deal with Russell Armstrong's death with the entire season having been filmed prior to it.

So let me begin by saying that all comments in this blog, related to Taylor or her marriage or late husband, are based on a series of filmed events that occurred prior to his death.

Ok. I'm pretty sure Kim and Kyle were on good terms at the reunion but apparently not. They are sisters though and I'm sure a little time and one situation where they need to stand up for each other (or at least Kyle for Kim) and they'll be back to norm...yes, normal. Sure, we'll go with that.

So I ended the first season of RHOBH feeling so sympathetic for Camille so I'm going to give her a chance this year. That said, one comment needs to happen before my "benefit of the doubt" begins: I think she is happy to be on her own, single. Hell, she acted like that before. But I digress...

On to the scene where Kyle is shopping and Taylor comes running in talking about Cedric. Wow did that seem staged to anyone else? It was the perfect opportunity for them to discuss her tension with Lisa. But with that and the chef at Adrienne's, it feels like they are going to make her out to be the bully.

And with Taylor building that in before the dinner party, the underhanded tension was unbearable. I think people just don't understand how to accept other people's opinions. Kyle said that she can't use certain words but it's other people, like Ken and Lisa, who are crucified for expressing their honest thoughts. At least there a couple of people on this show who can be truthful.

But without backstabbing, lies and deceit, there would be no drama. And without the drama, there would be no show - and by the looks of it, we'll have plenty of that all season! So I will see you in a week Housewives fans. Until next time...

Monday, June 20, 2011

Caroline rules, family drama drools

We finally get to see Teresa and Joe hash it out and I was hoping we might be able to move on but it looks like we will have to wait one more week to see the results of "battle of the sister-in-laws." Now I love Teresa but I can't tell if this is her fault or she's not quick enough to come up with a response when she's talking to Joe. It is so sad that they can't get along. I hope that they can get through this. Melissa seems sincere enough in wanting them to resolve the issue in her confessionals and her conversations with Joe but we'll just have to wait and see. I'm still undecided about Kathy.

I feel like Jacqueline and Caroline are tired of hearing about Teresa's family drama and I don't blame them. Its one thing to help a friend but when they rarely take your advice, its hard to keep listening and be willing to help.

Caroline is so great. I want her to do so well in her show. I think she has a lot to offer. She's an incredible mother, wife, sister, all of the above -- her family  and friends don't just love her, they respect her. And now her fans can get the great advice she offers to them. I'm jealous I can't listen. Maybe she will get her own talk show?! Come on Bravo!!

But back to the problem at hand -- Melissa and Teresa. I hope they can just be honest and move past this. Jacqueline's a great friend for allowing them to talk it out at her house. Next week looks good and at least we know Teresa and Melissa make it out  of their conversation alive. So until then....

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Another day in Jersey...

I’m a little disappointed with this week’s episode but, as always, it looks like it’s just prepping us for the drama that will ensue next week. So let’s just dig into what happened…

I have to admit that while I didn’t like Melissa and Joe Gorga in the first episode, I’m learning to love them. They are a cute couple. They seem to just adore each other and I think it’s sweet. I like when married couples are supportive of each other and I think that she is supporting him reconciling with Teresa and he supports her in starting her singing career.

Caroline and Albert are the same way and look at how well that turned out. He’s still supporting her starting a new career because he knows she is missing something with her kids gone. Though, I think it’s odd that they talk about “empty nest syndrome” but they still have Lauren at home.

So I think it’s ridiculous that just because Ashley wants a car, she is getting one. I really like Jacqueline but I feel like she doesn’t stick up for herself enough when it comes to Chris going around/above her when it comes to Ashley. I get that sometimes it isn’t worth the argument but I think this is a pretty big deal. Ashley thinks she deserves a car because she “isn’t in rehab.” Since when should people be rewarded for not doing something bad? I thought you are supposed to get rewarded for doing good – for going above and beyond. Even the way she acts in the car dealership is ridiculous. She is beyond spoiled. She’ll have to get a reality check sooner or later – once mommy and daddy stop coming to her rescue.

I don’t know how I feel about Kathy yet but I’m a little surprised by the contracts that she and Rich make their kids create and sign. I was truly caught off guard by it, but in the end it made me realize that it allowed the kids to open up to their parents.

It’s still sad to see the tension and awkwardness between Teresa, her brother and the entire family. I agree with Melissa that the impact it’s having on the kids is the worst part. Seeing their first true attempt to work this all out will be interesting next week and hopefully a little more entertaining! Until next time…

Monday, May 23, 2011

Old faces, new drama

So now we get to witness the fallout of the giant blowout that was Joe and Melissa's son's christening. I'm not sure we will ever find out what the true cause of this problem but I guess we will have to watch it play out.

Halloween in New Jersey - definitely different. Joe dressed as Snooki, an old lady dressed like a kitten, just strange. And of course Kim G is trying to get involved in all the drama.

And way to go Caroline! I love that she stands by her friends. Ms. Jaclyn is hot stuff! And wow Melissa moved around way too much!

Kim G. needs to, in the words of my friend Aly, take her drama to a retirement home.

And I can't believe Kathy. She tries to be everyone's mother but she is totally taking sides. I love that the family comes to back her up. Well, no more Danielle but now we have the Gorga family drama.

Until next time RHONJ fans...




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Oh, New Jersey - you never disappoint

I have to say that I have been so anxious to watch the season three opener of RHONJ. Literally (imagine Rachel Zoe here) lit-ter-al-lee dying. But the boyfriend’s been home, quality time, yadda yadda yadda – you know the drill.

So I finally sit down to watch and it definitely does not disappoint. Let’s start with the Battle Italia between Teresa, Joe, her snobby sister-in-law and awful brother. Loyalty people. Loyalty. And can I just say how much I love Teresa with straight hair. What a difference it makes! It’s nice to see them taking everything, the bankruptcy and everything else, so well.

And Caroline – she has lost so much weight! I mean, she looks amazing but I liked her with a little more meat on her bones. Either way – she’s still incredible.

Ok – it’s been two seasons and it’s time for me to admit something. I think I can finally say, without regret, that I have an absolute crush on Albie. He’s gorgeous, comes from a good family, great teeth and great personality. Sure, he has mommy issues but when your mother is Caroline, I don’t blame you for wanting to live at home that long. Besides, he’s Italian – it’s expected that they live at home and have abnormally close relationships with their moms.

So I can’t imagine how Jacqueline’s daughter landed a job with Lizzie Grubman, Hollywood PR guru. I’m sure I could probably connect the dots if I tried, but I won’t. No time to do that as I work my way up the ladder like a normal person. I’m just saying…

But I digress. Really though, who cries in front of their boss like that? Ashley is upset that her mom talked about raising her and working for her money at her job but she’s the one who brought up needing money to move to the city in the first place. I love Jacqueline but her daughter is a major drama queen.

So meeting the new women is interesting. I feel like Melissa is the New Jersey version of Alexis. I’ve joked about wanting to just sit around and be a housewife while my husband works and brings home the “bacon” but these women make it seem like you have to be a slave to your husband in exchange for nice clothes, nice cars and big houses. Um, no thank you.

And Kathy is a strange one. Her grocery store slash cooking experience was just odd. It’ll be interesting to see how things pan out with this whole Teresa/Kathy/Melissa triangle. Nothing good can come out of it, I can tell you that much.

So I thought it was a little petty that Joe G. didn’t go to the church but I think fighting with your family like that is just horrible. You don’t get to choose who you fall in love with and you definitely don’t get to choose their family but you do need to learn how to live with it.

They have a ridiculous amount of family drama. It makes for good TV, though.

So everyone is making it seem that Joe G. is the bad guy here. But all that alcohol mixed with the family drama definitely caused this craziness.

It’s really sad watching this family fall apart. I hope it doesn’t continue like this all season. Watching the women fight with Danielle was entertaining but watching a family fight like this is heartbreaking.

The season still looks incredible though. So until next time…

Monday, May 9, 2011

Back to blondes, bigotry and broke boyfriends

Oh and boobs. Can't forget those. Ok, so I know I haven’t really talked about the blondes of Orange County but after last week, I’m not sure I can help it. I’m so looking forward to watching Alexis crumble. Last week was so pathetic. I mean, how ridiculous is it that she can’t go to a dinner without her husband? Her explanation to Peggy was weak. And like Peggy said, isn’t she a good Christian? Then again, I’m sure God doesn’t approve of paid-in-full boobs the size of Mount Rushmore.

There's dependent and needy and then there's independent and demanding. I feel bad for Vicki’s husband. He seems like he is trying, always, and she doesn’t appreciate it. It seems like a two-way thing but I also feiel like she could be a little less, umm, bitchy. Yes, that’s it. Just the word I was looking for. But I guess we only see what is shown on camera.

As for Tamra, the little lesbian devil, I just think it’s funny. These women are going to get so offended by her and I think it’s great. Can you imagine how Alexis will react? She’ll probably kneel down right then and there and start praying.

I’m still not sure how I feel about Peggy. I have a “love her, love her not” emotional roller-coaster with her. Every other episode I like her. This one is going well so far.

It is really funny that Slade’s mom is accusing him of not having a real job. I wish they would have that conversation in front of Gretchen. It just doesn’t seem like they’re really in love and I don’t understand what is keeping her there. He has no money, he’s not good looking and I just don’t get it. Besides, he is more like Gretchen’s assistant than her boyfriend.

Alexis’ photo shoot is a joke. Actually, her whole dress line is a joke. She is NOT a model. She looks like a complete fool trying to pose. She is beyond full of herself and it’s really sickening to watch. That photo with the black and white dress was so scandalous. And then the blue dress with the sparkles looked like she was getting ready to, well, no need to go into the gory details . Alexis is a massive hypocrite. One minute she’s sticking out her butt for some action and the next minute she’s talking about how God meant for men to be the leaders in the relationship. I’m pretty sure the big man upstairs didn’t write the bible to mean women should be slaves to their husbands.

Well, more California craziness next week. Until then…

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Nothing like a little bit of Bethenny to get a girl back on track...

I know it’s been awhile but I’m back. Don’t think I’ve missed out on any shows during my blogging absence (never!) but I’ve been so far behind I thought it pointless to share my thoughts on something that happened weeks before I watched it. Even today, I’m writing about the latest in the life of Ms. Bethenny from last Monday. But hey, a girl’s gotta get back in the game at some point.

You better believe when RHONJ starts back up I will be very much on top of my stuff. But for now, I’ll try my very best to keep up.

So Bethenny has just been crazy this season. Not crazy drama, just plain crazy but that’s why we love her. And this episode, she says it herself when introducing her life to her new nanny. “Why sugarcoat it, right?”

The fact that this nanny is also a hairdresser probably makes up for the fact that she is a bit socially awkward. I’m sure a few weeks with Bethenny and she’ll come right out of her shell. I think Jason and Bethenny are the cutest. They are truly best friends which I love. And he knows her so well. Like the number of states Skinny Girl is in. He tells her 40 and she asks about the rest of them – just as he guessed she would.

I am such a PR person because as they discuss how they’ll go from 13 to 40 states, I’m thinking --- you could really use some brand management and promotion. I wonder who her publicist is…

I love her analogy of her life to a 54 year old man’s – cracking me up as always. Her walk on the beach and crazy dance party makes we want to drive to SoCal right now and just forget everything! I think my next vacation is going to be at that beach house. How incredible?

I’m looking forward to the RV trip on the next episode. Love the wrapped vehicle!

Well my reality peeps, until next time…

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Meatballs in Miami, and I'm not talking about the food

I know I keep saying this, but I really do not at all love the Miami season. I’ve just been dying for some real drama. And when I say drama, I’m not talking about someone getting upset over a dead pig (no offense veggie peeps).

But I have to say the second Larsa walked into Café Martorano, I started to drool. I love, love, love that restaurant. His Italian comfort food is incredible. So naturally, I knew this was going to be a hard episode to watch. I’m going to be dreaming about those meatballs tonight. If you haven’t tried them, you must!

Ok – so the young girls that Lea went to speak to, seemed completely uninterested, disengaged and unimpressed. I was actually embarrassed for her. For such a “successful” woman, she is completely unaware as to how to share her knowledge.

This cooking lesson is hilarious, though. Everyone seems a little uncomfortable with the in-your-face, rough, Italian attitude. But things didn’t really get uncomfortable until Adriana decided to confront Crissy about not paying for a ticket to Lea’s charity event.

Adriana seems to consistently complain about the drama in her life, yet she continues to bring it upon herself. I really don’t get this show sometimes. If you are going to say something on camera, whether it’s in your interviews or to someone else, that person you are talking about is going to hear it. So why not just ‘fess up to how you feel and confront the issue.

If only these people grew up in a Jewish-Italian household. They would be in for a big shock.

Well, at least we won’t have to suffer much longer. Perhaps we’ll get one decent episode before it’s over. Season finale next week. Until then…

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Miami finally turns up the heat

To be honest, I wasn’t thrilled about the Miami Housewives and I was largely underwhelmed with the first two episodes. But alas, the third episode finally brought on some drama. Well, technically it started at the end of the second episode – classic Bravo cliffhanger. I couldn’t wait to see the look on Cristy’s face when she received that invoice from Lea but, of course, they’ll leave that until next time.

But this time we can talk about Larsa. She’s pretty enough and has a beautiful family. At this point, though, she just seems so self-involved. I do like that she takes her son car shopping and he isn’t allowed a super luxurious car. A Toyota is sensible. But her “wheeling and dealing” skills are awful. She took the first offer the guy gave her. I mean, I know she can afford a car three times that price, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try to save a little.

So, if you’ve ever heard the saying “look at a woman’s mother because that’s what she’ll be in 20 years” than you should be very scared for Phillippe. Marysol’s mother is difficult to look. The only parts of her face that move are her lips (which I’m surprised by) and her eyes. I do love that she’s a little kooky.

I have to say, Adriana’s art show wasn’t bad. It was actually the artwork that was boring. I could do that with a camera and good editing software. If I were there, I would have been thankful for the surprise performance by the other artist. Perhaps, the artist should have worked a little harder to make his show better and she wouldn’t have needed to resort to bringing in a second artist. Adriana did put on the drama right in the middle of her show and that’s just bad for business.

I am actually looking forward to the next episode. So until then…

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Parties, makeovers and role playing

I too want a “fantastic gay ornament coming over with a satchel of jewels.” I’ll also take the makeup artist, hair stylist and personal assistant. I do love that Bethenny had a hairstylist come and put her hair in a ponytail. Nothing special. I must say, though, her Loubie pumps are fabulous!

I am dying to try that burger stand they went to before the US Weekly party. Pop Burger. Saw it on the Travel Channel’s Man V. Food and it looks incredible! Her love for food is great. I’ve met few people in my life who get as excited about food as I do. If I could afford a personal trainer, I’d eat a whole lot more, much more often.

I’ve officially decided that at the end of each argument, I’m going to say “Because I’m a difficult human being.” And I will expect people to just take that as a conclusion to our discussion – the only reason I need for acting the way I do. Works for Bethenny.

She is such a genuine person, though. She isn’t perfect but she’s real. I love that she did that makeover for her assistant. What a difference?!

This role playing is cracking me up! I love that guys think it’s that easy to get a girl in bed. But truly, some girls are that easy. The difference comes where you try that on the girl you ended up with because it’s likely that you chose a girl that is the complete opposite of all the other girls you’ve “dated.”

I agree with Bethenny (well, her therapist) that there is no normal. I actually think if there was a normal, it would be the people who have families with issues – the divorced parents, the parents who don’t get along, the families who, despite their issues, are totally nuts.

I truly can’t get enough of this woman. She’s fabulous. So until next time…

Monday, March 14, 2011

And then there was one...

So it is apparent that Brad and Chantal have a connection. It's also apparent that Chantal looks like a lobster. I guess they don't sell sunblock in South Africa.

So it seems like his parents like her. Until they meet Emily anyway. Now I know I'm partial because Emily has been my favorite since the first day but she is just "so dang cute." That's my Emily lingo.

I just think Chantal is such a drama queen. I mean, she threw such a fit about going shark diving. I would probably be a little scared but she freaks out.

I'm just over her emotional roller coaster. And she could have zipped up the wetsuit. I mean, We know you have boobs. We don't need to see almost all of them.

Her letter was really sweet but I just don't feel like Brad feels the same way.

He is so much more affectionate with Emily. But he's honestly being weird on their date. Well, not the night part. He's totally reaffirming his feelings for her which he did not do for Chantal.

But she's pushing a little hard on the "do you know what you're getting into" conversation. I guess she needs to be wary because it is more than just her. She has her daughter to think about. But he is truly putting his heart out there and she is pushing him away.

I can't believe it's finally here. Who knows who it will be?! Well, Reality Steve says Chantal. I say that ring screams Emily.

First, the fashion. I knew earlier what the women would be wearing. I love Emily's dress. I love Chantal's but it looked much better on the runway.

So Chantal gets out of the limo first. Normally that means she's a goner. But he totally fooled her with the beginning part of that conversation. Way to drag it out and make it tougher.

But I'm glad he picked Emily. So happy actually. And that proposal was incredible. I'm such a sap.

Well, I'm going to watch "After the Final Rose." Until next time Bachelor fans...










- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Bethenny is back!

I finally sat down to watch Real Housewives of Miami and I was hugely underwhelmed. So instead, I’m going to write about my girl Bethenny. I absolutely love that the conversation in the first five minutes went from business to her asking about how long the “wait period” is after she dies for her hubby to move on. C’mon, you know you’ve had that conversation with your boyfriend/husband. It’s just hilarious.

I must say, whatever diet that girl’s been on since she had her baby, I need to start right away. Note to self, go to the gym tomorrow.

She seriously cracks me up. She just says whatever she is thinking, like the farting thing. It is so true. Why is it that men can hold in farts when you are dating but the second they start to get comfortable their butt becomes a machine gun of stinkiness. No, that is not a word but it’s really the only way to describe it.

Bethenny feeling suffocated by the grandparents is completely normal. It’s not like she isn’t willing to let her daughter spend time with Jason’s parents but every person needs a little space. I would think it was a little much to drive two or three hours every weekend. Especially with a life and a business, being newlyweds and new parents. It’s tough.

That bar was fantastic. It’s great that she has been transplanted into this small town for this episode. I relate in some ways being from a fairly large city and having my small town boy. It’s like being on another planet.

She’s been through so much and made such a name for herself. Surprisingly, after everything that’s happened in her life, she still is very open and honest when it comes to her feelings. This season looks like it’s going to be great – filled with Bethenny’s snarky comments and fabulous attitude. Can’t wait!

Until next time…

Monday, February 21, 2011

The Bachelor goes home; well, sort of

Oh my goodness. That hat Brad opens the show in looks ridiculous on him.

The beginning of the show was, and by beginning I mean the first ten minutes, was spent recalling his feelings with each woman. That's only helpful to, let's say my poor boyfriend who was stuck watching with me.

But onto the actual show. I was ready to shove Chantal's scarf down her throat within seconds. The girl just doesn't shut up. But I guess when you grow up in a mansion, no need to worry about people hearing you.

It does seem like he meshed with her family. Her mom seemed slightly uninterested in what she had to say. She's probably thinking what the rest of us are - stop blubbering. You've known the guy for less than three months.

I don't know what it is about Ashley but I really can't stand the girl. Did she really say "oh good job" after she fed him the fry? Is he five? And does she jump on everyone when she sees them?

Proof that the title under the girls name is spun to sound like something amazing. Didn't Ashley's title say "Dentist?" But really she's a dental student. So Fashion Marketer Alli did have an excuse for dressing so poorly.

Wow. Did they really start Shawntell's part with her funeral home's commercial? Ha! This date is truly creepy though. Brad looks so weirded out. And she's making it even more strange.

Her dad doesn't seem to care about how she feels about Brad. The only thing he's really concerned with is his business.

Emily and her daughter are the sweetest things! But her daughter doesn't seem to like Brad at all. At least she warmed up a little while flying the kite.

I hate that they made it seem like his date with Emily wouldn't go well. I think they are so cute and I hope he picks her.

Brad's line about not wanting to kiss her because her daughter is upstairs sleeping was crap. He should have just asked.

So on to the recap. This show could easily take up a half hour less of my time weekly if they'd cut these and the previews before each commercial.

Ashley could have at least done her hair for the rose ceremony and what's with Chantal's crazy ballet instructor bun? That alone could be reason enough not to pick her. But apparently being so into death is slightly less appealing.

Until next time Bachelor fans.










- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Until next time Atlanta

Ladies of Atlanta, who knew there were so many high “freak” numbers among such a classy group of women? I’m most surprised by Phaedra. I guess the saying “Lady on the street but a freak in the bedroom” is very true for her.

Maybe it’s just me but I really don’t think Sheree is a very good actress. Don’t get me wrong, I think she’s fabulous but she just can’t act. Now, I think she’ll have trouble finding a man because many men are intimidated by a woman who has money and isn’t afraid of what she wants.

It really is funny to see how different women parent their children. I definitely agree with Nene that you need to be a parent to your children before you’re their friend but I think you need to build a friendship as well, while still having their respect. I think each of these ladies is a good mom in their own way. Everyone has a different situation so it’s definitely not something we can judge.

Phaedra, Phaedra, Phaedra. I’m glad someone just asked and she finally came clean that she may have been pregnant before she was married. As for her husband, you can’t help who you love. You can help who you marry but that’s a personal decision. Personal choices. But when you put your life on TV, you have to face the fact that people are going to have questions about your life. But racketeering? I love that she just brushes it off as a "white collar crime."

Onto Kim’s “singing” career. Hilarious that when they asked around as to why no one will just come out and say Kim can’t sing, faces were made, looks were thrown but, of course, it took Phaedra to speak up first. Of course the woman can’t sing! If she was any Joe Schmoe off the street, there is no way that song would have ever been a hit. I just don’t get it.

As for Kandi – if you don’t like to discuss money with friends, don’t do business with friends; it’s that simple. She’s so nice but sometimes, she’s just more of a pushover. Stand up for yourself! If you let people walk all over you, they’ll continue to do so. But Kim really doesn’t get what she did wrong.

Kim vs. Nene – they are so funny. When you have a friendship with no foundation, it’s so easy to get that upset at someone. I do love how reunion shows hash out the craziness of the season and the housewives seem like they never want to talk about it. Kim looks so uninterested in talking about her severed relationship with Nene. Nene doesn’t look all that interested either. We can’t even hear what they’re saying half the time because they just talk over each other.

So obviously the acting thing isn’t really working for Sheree since she’ll be focusing on her clothing line. Hey, wish her the best though. Phaedra’s funeral home is a little strange – ok, a lot strange. Kandi is an amazing artist. I hope to hear some exciting music soon. Cynthia is at least starting her own business which is a relief. Invest money in your business, not your husbands. Lesson learned? I think so. Kim’s about to have a baby – hopefully it looks…OK, I won’t go there. But if I ever need a wig… Nene on Celebrity Apprentice. Can. Not. Wait.

As for this season, I’m not too sad it’s over. We’ll see if the ladies of Atlanta return once again. Until next time…

Monday, February 14, 2011

The downfall of the antagonist and her many personalities

Sandy, Island, Anguila. Emily, Brad and their own island. This just further proves how insanely opposite this show is from actual dating. Obviously, they jump ahead to the picnic and skip some sort of swimming session because they go from hair dry out of the helicopter to hair wet on the blanket. And then they jump again even further because her hair is practically dry again, just wavier. Well, whatever happened that we didn’t see, the conversation ended positively and, by positively, I mean a traditional “Bachelor make out session” – good times.

I really think Brad should be ok with the reasons why Emily doesn’t want her daughter to meet the men she dates. However, I also understand that he’s probably pushing the issue because he really thinks she might be the one and he doesn’t want to propose to her without meeting her daughter first. Understandable on both ends.

I do love that he just told her he is definitely giving her a rose at the next ceremony. I knew he liked her from the get go. And I think their relationship is progressing at a somewhat normal level given the circumstances.

So basically, on Shawntell’s date, Brad says he’s attracted to her, loves her confidence, thinks she’s great and likes hearing that she’s falling in love with him – but still isn’t satisfied. Hard to please? Yup. So then the cheesiness of the rain pouring down right after dinner was just beyond anything I can handle. Or so I thought. Then came the band and the disgusting public display of affection. Yes, I am aware that I am watching a show where people are solely on there to fall in love and one man makes out with almost 20 women over the course of six weeks, but this was just gross.

Nothing cheers me up, though, like a good crazy comment from psycho Michelle. She’s so insane, it’s great. Not only did she completely insult Britt, she also wished the sink would ship. Oh, and she also said he wouldn’t even “friend” her on Facebook. Now that’s just cruel. In between all of that though, I’m pretty sure they showed a bird committing suicide into the water. I guess even the bird couldn’t take Michelle’s craziness.

I remember the days of cliff jumping. It looks like fun but the boyfriend just made me watch “1,000 Ways to Die” on some man channel. The episode showed some guy who jumped the wrong way and, well, let’s just says he didn’t survive. So, as much fun as it looks with Britt’s big ears flailing down towards the water, it’s just not something I care to do again.

Speaking of not surviving, I don’t know how Britt’s going to survive this date. Maybe Michelle was right – maybe they would never be Facebook friends. So what’s worse than getting sent home when there’s no rose on the date? Having to go home and face the rest of the girls because no one told you to pack beforehand.

So on to the swimsuit shoot. I’ve seen the SI Swimsuit models up close and let me tell you, even in my wildest dreams I didn’t have that great of a body. So I can only imagine how hard this shoot must be for these women. Never mind the fact that they are in direct competition with these other girls so it makes it even more nerve wracking.

Now, these women know exactly what they’re getting into, yet every group date they seem to have major jealousy issues. I just want to know what he feels for Michelle. He says they have this uncanny connection but I just don’t see it. She’s constantly thinking too much before she speaks which makes me believe she’s always lying. I just don’t get how he doesn’t see it.

I think when you mix early mornings, three women, one man and a few toxic green cocktails, you end up with a drunken girl who thinks you are going to send her home when you are actually giving her a rose, a snide bitch who won’t speak to you and another girl who cries her eyes out because she just confessed her love and you gave her nothing in return. Way to go Brad.

One thing I give him credit for, though, is that he seems to know what he wants when he’s not around the women. So tonight, we skip the cocktail party and go straight to the rose ceremony. And, finally! Michelle and many personalities are gone. I have to say, I think I’m going to miss her - for entertainment purposes, of course.

Home town dates next week! Who’s excited?

Sunday, February 13, 2011

The Atlanta Housewives reunite, but not much happens

Oh reunion shows - when all the back stabbing, trash talking and snide comments come to a head. But first - we discuss booties. Even with the lengthy conversation, I’m still not sure what a “donkey booty” is. Anyone? Anyone? Yea – that’s what I thought. Either way, I’m not sure I want one.

So Kim’s preggers. Will it be a girl or a boy? Maybe it will look like its mom and we won’t be able to tell? Oh, that was mean. Shame on me. But for a woman who smoked for the first five weeks of her pregnancy, we can only pray for that poor thing.

As for Cynthia – I think each person has a right to make their own decisions about their relationship. Only the people involved know what is really going on behind closed doors. But TV cameras can only do so much. What we see may not be who you are, but a story can only be exaggerated, not completely made up. We’ll see if it lasts.

Oh, Phaedra. Love her now but I definitely haven’t always. She’s a little odd but I think she has good intentions. She’s so educated and answers questions so well. Honestly, how can you hate her? I think she’s perfected being a “polite bitch.”

Nene, on the other hand, threw the polite part in the trash. Is she crass? Yes. Is she outrageous? Yes. Is she sometimes straight up rude? Yes. But it makes for great TV.

I cannot believe Kim has her own book coming out on how to “land your own big poppa.” At the beginning of the show, Andy asked if it might be Big Poppa’s baby and she was disgusted at the thought of it. Does that mean it’s just a book on how to be a gold-digger? Should be a good one.

So does Kim treat her assistant like a slave? I can’t really say but I can say I wouldn’t stand to be treated like that. You couldn’t pay me enough.

Well, housewives fans. We still have part two. Until then…

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The unseen side of the ladies of Beverly Hills

I'll admit I was jealous in the first five minutes. What I wouldn't give to have that much money. It's kind of sickening.

So what have these wealthy ladies had to cut back on in the recession? Store brand products? Shopping with coupons? No way. These ladies have cut back on some of the essentials like flying private and less staff to help manage their lives. I'm sure flying commercial is just daunting. And then I'm sure everyone needs four nannies but most people just suck it up and mother their children.

Not that we didn't know this before this episode, but Kim is really weird. Reflecting back on all those nutty moments just made it so clear. I feel bad for her though. It seems like she's been through a lot and just doesn't really know how to deal with any of it. That story about her husband is so awful. No wonder she has so many problems.

In order to be a true housewife of Beverly Hills, you MUST get plastic surgery. At least according to these women. Ok, maybe I'm just poor but what the hell is a filler? Apparently, if I'm planning on moving to LA I'm going to have to learn these things.

This isn't anything I haven't said before but Lisa is so freaking fabulous! She seriously gets custom clothes for Giggy. Love it! And I was trying to concentrate on the sad story about his health but I was honestly distracted by the diamond encrusted laptop.

The scene where Kyle flipped out on that girl who was all over Mauricio - I guess I don't blame her but it was a little dramatic.

Speaking of dramatic, on to Camille. I feel bad that she was married to such an ass. Their interactions are so awkward. I just think she needs to find someone to appreciate her for who she is - OK, I guess she could settle for someone who understands at least one of her personalities.

Well, just when I thought it was over...there's more. Keep tuning in.









- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, February 7, 2011

This week, on The Bachelor: One man, seven women and a psychopath.

You have to love the cheesy voiceover with the signature “bachelor” solo shot where they reflect on their feelings and where they stand so far. But truly, Costa Rica is beautiful. I think I’ve found my next vacation destination.

I love that Michelle is so crazy. She seriously wished a monkey-attack on Chantal. But just in case there aren’t any killer monkeys around, apes will do. And then for her to call Chantal aggressive is just great. If you live in a glass house – come on, really?

Zip lining seemed like fun but we didn’t really get to see too much interaction. The rain in Costa Rica is crazy. It happens so quickly. So instead of a picnic, we move right into a semi-strange, uncomfortable setting (at least for the viewers) where Chantal is half-dressed in a man’s shirt and Brad’s serving dessert in his pajamas. It’s just weird.

And then it’s on to another awkward group date. I just have one question – why is Brad wearing Velcro sandals? I mean, sneakers would have done just fine, I’m sure. That would be enough for me to say “please send me home.” But what makes this date better? They’ve created a group version of Michelle’s one-on-one and she is beyond mad. Now this is entertainment.

Now, Emily is great but I really think her feelings are moving too slowly for this show. But it’s funny how she is open and honest about how she sabotages relationships and then he questions it. So I wonder…does he really want people to be honest or does he only want someone to be honest if it’s what he wants to hear?

Michelle is truly crazy. If she’s this possessive now, I can only imagine how she’ll be as a wife. She should definitely be in a padded cell somewhere. I’m really interested to see what happens when she “takes matters into her own hands.”

The cave date was pretty crazy and beautiful at the same time but I really just don’t see the connection. It seems like Alli has a crush and Brad just doesn’t feel it. And that conversation about her ex and why he wasn’t “the one” made it even worse. Obviously when he said “I know exactly how you feel,” he was referring to his feelings for her. For her to go on and on about how she feels, she really just wasn’t getting it. I almost felt bad for her. Almost.

I love how the bags being pulled away causes all the girls to gasp in shock when just two minutes ago they were all voting that they think she would go home.

Of course Michelle just shows up and invites herself over when Brad needs some alone time. Has she never seen this show before? The woman who tells the guy what decisions he should make always goes home. If it’s “up to him,” why do you keep telling him which girls to send home?

The silent game doesn’t really make for good TV but Shawntell was smart to come up with a cutesy way to make him relax and have fun. Drama and crap talking about one girl behind her back does make for good TV. I do like that this group is so honest with one another.

And the results are in. Drum roll please…and, Michelle is left standing as the last two. So close but he decides to keep the crazy around for at least one more episode. He actually sounded like he regretted saying her name. Oh well. Wishful thinking. I guess we’ll just have to see what happens next week – well, what they don’t show in the preview, anyway.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Bravo, Bravo TV - another drama-filled season of housewives is complete

And the battle of Kyle and Camille continues. Kyle is a bully and Camille is the victim. No surprise there. But Kim finally speaks up aaaannnnddd…..nothing. She gives us absolutely nothing. She doesn’t say that Kyle said anything to Camille but also never says that Kyle didn’t say anything. So the story goes without a beginning and without an ending for that matter.

So on to Lisa and the story of Cedric. I’m not sure I like how vague she is being and it bothers me that Kyle kept jumping in on the story. Let her tell it. It’s not Kyle’s place to publicize Lisa’s life. While she’s accepted the on-camera lifestyle, it’s still her choice to publicize certain parts of her life.

Well, Cedric is aspiring to be an actor. C’mon, who’s shocked? There has to be at least one person out there who didn’t guess that one was coming. No? Ok then.

Poor Ken and Lisa. Ken is such a sweet man which is the only reason I can believe he didn’t hit Cedric either after Cedric said all of those awful things. They must be thrilled to be moving on from that.

All-in-all, though, Lisa’s attitude is great about this. “You win some, you lose some and I lost this one.” I knew I liked her for a reason.

Oh, Taylor. Her life seems so sad. Her husband is truly the dullest person on the planet. She just needs to tell him what she wants and needs and if he can’t provide that, then there’s really no hope for her to be happy. The thing I still don’t get is if he’s this way now, how much more fun and romantic could he have possibly ever been before?

The husbands did play quite the role in this season so I’m happy they brought them out. Adrienne and Paul are great together and their advice about getting your feelings out right away is priceless. There’s nothing wrong with a little bickering. There is, however, something very wrong with not signing a prenup. Of course Adrienne signed one. She has money coming out of her ears. It’s the smart thing to do – just ask Kelsey Grammer.

I’m surprised Nick wasn’t there to pose as Camille’s husband. Now that’s a relationship that seems completely inappropriate. If I were his wife, I’d be worried now that she’s a divorcee. Maybe he knew about the affair all along and the flirting was his way of getting his foot in the door a little early. I’m sure he was aware they didn’t have a prenup. Men can be gold diggers too.

I think Kyle and Kim’s relationship is difficult to decipher. Kyle is a strong-willed person and her protective feelings and maternal instincts for Kim come across as mean. As someone with two sisters, I understand Kim when she says that her sister is the last person in the world she wants to fight with but sometimes when you are so close with someone, it’s easy to take your emotions out on the people you love.

With that said, it has been very tough to watch the ups and downs of their relationship and you can tell it was extremely difficult for them to watch it again. I do like that Kim stood up for herself and for Kyle by not wanting to discuss it.

I do love that Andy turned the entire thing around on Taylor, accusing her (and rightfully so) that she started the argument. It did become a bit tiresome watching all the housewives go back and forth with their attempts to be vague about Kim’s supposed drinking problem. Leave it up to Andy to come right out and ask her. And even though we still didn’t get an answer on the reunion, I think the reports of her drunk and making a scene at a California airport is proof enough.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to relive the dinner party but it was much better in short snippets than a full hour of high-pitched squabbling. I love how Camille says Kyle is being harsh by saying it is “more morally corrupt” to do porn than it is to do a “tasteful spread in Playboy.” Hypocritical? Definitely. Kyle is simply using Camille’s words to turn the situation around and all of a sudden Camille has a problem with what’s being said. Oy.

Will Kyle and Camille ever be friends? I guess we have to wait until next season to find out. But honestly, if everyone is all chummy, why would we keep watching?

I must say that I share Andy’s regret that this season is over. I just might cry myself to sleep tonight…but just when I thought it was over, be still my heart, lost footage! I have something to live for again. So until next time…

Monday, January 31, 2011

Bachelor goes to Vegas baby!

Here we go with the Bachelor in Vegas. First up – the funeral director and Crystals. And what do they do…they only go on my ultimate dream date – an extravagant shopping spree. Except I’d like to go on that date by myself and perhaps a gay best friend. The jealousy in those women’s eyes was priceless

So Brad tells Shawntel that her job is fascinating but when she starts talking about it, he is telling the camera he is freaked out. When she asks, though, he tells her he’s alright with it. Make up your mind, Brad! Now, I admit her job completely gives me the creeps but I’m not the one on that date (thank goodness). But apparently, he likes her and she is the “hottest funeral director” he’s ever met which makes me wonder just how many funeral directors he knows.

Now I wonder, if he hadn’t given her the rose, do they still set off the fireworks?

On to the races. Michelle is seriously strange and kind of obsessed with herself. I think her self-love goes far beyond conceited.

I truly feel for Emily though. What a tough date to deal with. Obviously this was a setup from the producers. I’m glad Brad felt so bad and I love that he was there for her. I just don’t get how you get over that. Losing someone you love that much and trying to move on would be so hard.

I get that these other girls are envious he wants to spend so much time with her. If he wanted to spend one-on-one time with you, he’d make it happen. I hate the way Alli approaches the situation and I actually like how Chantal dealt with things. I truly dislike women who throw a pity party for themselves. Get over yourself. You knew what you signed up for so just put your big girl panties on and deal with it.

So Brad’s feeling for crazy (Michelle)? Is it lust or love? I think it’s just a physical attraction. So when he gets done making out with her and still decides to give Emily the rose, it makes me probably almost as happy inside as it makes her.

Now for the Ashley date. The two-on-one date is so uncomfortable. And truly, I feel like the entire date is just each of them talking to the camera about how hard it is to be on the date. We didn’t get to hear any of the conversation and I feel like I don’t know why he’s made the choice he did. And his elimination is so harsh. Did she even get to eat the fabulous food from Sage?

This whole therapist thing is starting to make me think maybe all Bachelors and Bachelorettes need to have a therapist guiding them along the way. Maybe we’d have more happy endings? Who knows? Maybe the girls need therapy. There’s no question some of them could definitely use a few sessions.

This cocktail party made me like Brad even more. He is honest and real and he truly focuses on what the women need, individually and as a whole.

And I think it made Brad realize that Michelle is truly nuts. She “doesn’t need him to say much?” Well he can’t say much when you practically muzzle him.

So who goes home? Not our beloved funeral director, the dancing dentist or my favorite, Emily. Apparently, he loves a little crazy because Michelle stays too along with Alli, Britt, Jackie and Chantal.

Twenty-two down, eight to go. On to Costa Rica next but before we go, I must say that I’m upset the group went to Vegas, stayed at CityCenter and no one had the lobster mac n’ cheese from Beso.

Oh well. Until next time…

Big day blues, boobs and bye-byes

No one else but Atlanta could pull off opening a season finale with a full out drag queen concert and I loved every minute of it. Ok, maybe Vegas could pull it off. Perhaps that’s why I liked it so much.

So Cynthia says when she got back from Florida, she tried to not think about any of her problems and just focus on the wedding. Maybe I’m confused but I was pretty sure the wedding was the problem. Maybe she finally agrees with me that the real problem is the groom.

I get so frustrated listening to Kandi talk to Kim. I feel like she just needs to spit out how she really feels. Tell her she wronged you, treated you badly and consistently acts unappreciative of everything you’ve done for her. And Kim’s explanation of how the money should be split is hilarious! The producers only spend two days on it and she has to go perform it. The best – she “had” to get a boob job to look good on stage. She can’t be serious! I hope Kandi reacts to that on the reunion.

While Sheree’s audition wasn’t that great, they were really tough on her. I feel like they did that just to spite her because of the cameras. That’s really unfair. She’s not a great actress but they were really cruel.

On to the Big Day! So I don’t get what the big deal was on Kithe telling Cynthia he had a car ready if she wanted to run. That’s a normal joke. And it’s just that – a joke. But obviously people are picking up on her true unhappiness. It is definitely more than stress. Isn’t a wedding day supposed to be happy? I feel like I’m watching a funeral.

And I must say this – a mother always knows. She sees right through the situation. It’s just sad that it took until the days leading up and day of the wedding for her family to tell her how they feel. When a marriage starts off badly, how is it supposed to end well? When people can’t communicate, which Peter has proven he can’t, you can’t have a strong relationship.

Take a look at Greg and Nene. Dishonesty and disloyalty are results of a complete lack of communication. Sometimes it’s too little too late but who really wants to wait until that point?

Kim’s boobs were seriously about to pop out of her dress and I truly wonder how many cigarettes she smoked in that one hour while she got ready. I can imagine her house smells like an ashtray.

So the marriage license is “missing.” Both Cynthia’s sister and her mom are debating whether or not to sabotage the wedding by not giving the license to Cynthia. Isn’t it a sign when your own family doesn’t want you to get married? I wonder how Peter will feel when he sees the playback of this episode – knowing his mother- and sister-in-law dislike him that much.

What is with all of the boobage at this wedding? Between Kim and Nene we could start a baby-feeding factory. Phaedra definitely gets best dressed.

But it all came down to the end – the look in Peter’s eyes. It made me remember why I love weddings. Though, I could have done without the extra ear, I mean bow next to Cynthia’s head.

Season wrap-up notes:

Nene – I hope you get your happy back girl! Seriously, drama or not, she’s still my favorite.

Kandi – I truly hope she makes it in music and one day finds the courage to tell Kim how she really feels. And I really hope they capture that moment on camera so I can watch.

Phaedra – I think she’s the only housewife that has it altogether – a husband, a family and a career. I know we’ve had our differences but as long as her baby isn’t on display at the baptism, I think we’ll be alright.

Sheree – After all that hard work and dealing with mean panels during auditions, she might actually make it in acting. Good for her! It’s nice to see a woman be successful independent of a man.

Kim – I love that she has to house hunt for a new home to fit one extra person. Her daughter’s room is the size of my apartment but I guess it would be too much to ask for people to live in such close quarters. I wonder if her baby will come out of the womb with a wig on.

Cynthia – I’m glad she and Peter worked things out and are still happily married. I truly wish the best in life for people who deserve it and I think she’s a good person - from what I can tell on television anyway.

The yelling, the screaming, the drama – can’t wait for the reunion!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Reunions of the rich and famous - part I

I have been beyond excited for this reunion of the fabulous housewives of Beverly Hills. First I must comment on the outfits so we’ll just break it down, shall we?

Adrienne – Love the dress. It’s simple but sexy. The bracelet is great. The shoes are to die for! But those earrings?! They looked like skeletons. Not sure I liked them.

Kim – I appreciate the tights because I know what we’re working with but I’m not sure I like the sheer black. The dress is simple. Overall, she’s not too overdone but not too boring.

Camille – I feel like it was a less exciting version of her dress she wore in the show opener. She looked pretty but it wasn't anything spectacular.

Lisa – I was truly expecting something so out-of-the-park and I think she really nailed it in an unexpected way. That jewelry is fabulous and the belt on the dress is incredible. Well done. As usual.

Taylor – Taylor looked really pretty but just that. Nothing too glamorous or exciting and after spending 60 grand on a four year old girl’s birthday, I was expecting a little more.

Kyle – Leave the leaves on the tree. I think it could work but the leaves on the shoulders and then the earrings right there as well – it’s all too much.

I was slightly disappointed when they went right into drilling Camille. I thought we’d get some of the easy stuff out of the way first. Then I realized, if this is what they’re starting with, the rest of the show is going to be damn good.

And, ladies, don’t think we didn’t notice the side glances from all of you as Camille went on about the only reason she did the show was because of Kelsey. Oh, I’m sorry – Kelsey Grammer. I wouldn’t want anyone to get confused as to which Kelsey I’m referring to, right Camille?

All-in-all, I still feel bad for what Camille had to go through. It’s one of those things you have to accept when you allow cameras to come into your life but it’s still rough and I think she’s handled it, for the most part, with composure, class and just the right amount of vulnerability.

Now I really don’t get the whole Taylor and Kim battle royale. You don’t like each other so just stop trying to be friends and just be civil. And that part of the show ended so awkwardly. I think Kim was afraid to speak in fear she might say something stupid (which is very possible).

I loved the montage of Lisa’s clips. It brought me back to some of my favorite one-liners of the show. And then there’s the DMV. I don’t blame Lisa for being scared at the DMV. Anyone should be, really. It has nothing to do with rich or poor. I am fearful at the DMV and I probably couldn’t afford one bead on Lisa’s necklace.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it once again – I don’t think there is anything wrong with Adrienne’s marriage. Not that anyone is accusing them of anything but I agree with what Adrienne said: “It’s real.” And it definitely is. Perfection is not the norm. No one is ever always happy and I wouldn’t want to be. It’s the disagreements and the hard times that make you stronger. Moving away from my savvy relationship advice, I have to say it’s hilarious that someone asked Lisa how much she thinks Adrienne is worth.

It had to be discussed! The dispute we’ve wanted to see hashed out. Finally! So here we go. Wow. Intense! What bothers me is that I guess I was under the false impression that no one on these reality shows spoke unless a camera was around. Bravo, you have let me down. Take note from The Bachelor (who I believe has those rules in place) and stop the off-camera conversations. This whole situation could have been avoided. So after back and forth comments and snide remarks who is to blame? Could the argument have ended in New York after Kyle “made peace” if Taylor would have shut her big lips? I think that’s possible but not what would have ensued. These are six very wealthy, somewhat selfish women who are always looking out for number one. I think the cattiness would have continued regardless.

And the Kyle/Camille war continues next week when we also get to find out if Kim has a drinking problem. See you then!

P.S. Bethenny Ever After premieres Feb. 28 – what a great birthday present! I can think of no better way to celebrate.

Monday, January 24, 2011

The Bachelor Drama Reel Take 4

Michelle is officially nuts! I have no doubt she gave herself that black eye. And go Ashley S. for wanting to give her one. She's really pretty but...as my friend Aly said: "No amount of pretty can cover up that much crazy."

Chantal is so cheesy: "I did it because he's worth it." Ugh. And "I could definitely be Chantal Womack." You've spent all of one hours time with the guy. Get real.

I just don't get it. How do people like Michelle know what's good for Brad? It bothers me that these women can think that a man can only like one type of girl. If every girl looked and acted exactly the same, there wouldn't be a competition.

And I disagree with Michelle. I think Brad and Chantal are great together. I'm no relationship expert but they are very natural - in conversation, in physicality, everything.

So the Dr. Drew date - a little strange but altogether it made me like Brad that much more.

And Britt. You had your ears so well-hidden at the Dr. Drew interview and then all of a sudden you go to the second half of the date and you have an awful blush line leading right up to your gigantic ears adorned with heart-shaped earrings. Seriously?

Then Ashley H. walks in with her wide forehead doing nothing but complaining and obviously drunk. She has been on my nerves since day one. Her dancing around in her socks claiming she's cavity-free...so obnoxious. And because Ashley acted like an idiot, ears triumph over forehead and Britt gets the rose.

When Brad took Ashley aside the next day, I really thought Michelle might jump up and slit someone's throat! I love that Chantal confronted her too about the first group date.

She is seriously crazy. And a drama queen. He had to pick her to repel down a building with - of course. I hope crazy isn't contagious. That kiss (and her cheesy confessional) almost made me vomit.

I can't believe they actually brought in his therapist. Do they feel they need to prove he's committed to getting better? Basically, Brad, your therapist told you it's ok to be a whore. Good stuff. There are probably a lot of people out there who would pay to hear that advice. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

I love, love, love that Brad took some time to set aside for my favorite, Emily at the rose ceremony. She so deserves someone special.

And then we get back to Chantal. Who I truly wonder about. I mean, she works for her dad and is an executive assistant. Blood relation doesn't get you a better job title?

Well another week and three girls are gone. Next week will be so much better. All the usual suspects:

The sweetheart: Emily
The crazy: Michelle
The drama queen/drunk: Ashley H.
The southern belle: Ashley S.
The front runner: Chantal O.

And then there's the rest of them who will eventually go home.

Until next time...



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, January 20, 2011

The party to end all things

A sad day has come upon us. The Season Finale of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It’s been probably one of my top two seasons of Housewives so far so, without further ado, here we go!

It’s still sad to watch someone go through what Camille is going through, no matter how horrible a person she may be. That red dress is absolutely fabulous, though. So at least she looked amazing even if she didn’t feel it.

Now Kyle bringing her mom’s ashes and locks of hair – a little weird, don’t you think? And did the psychic really give her anything she can use?

I knew there was an ulterior motive behind Lisa’s lunch with Taylor and sure enough, she grilled her on the New York thing. I think I believe Taylor when she says she didn’t get in the middle, although there isn’t really a full story on what was said between Taylor and Camille in the hotel room in New York. Maybe this can eventually be hashed out at the reunion. The reunion always brings answers, right? ;)

And I think I’m going to start using the phrase “flying fig” – just for kicks.

Can Kim really blame not knowing how to do her makeup on working as a child? I mean, you were a childhood actress! You watched your makeup get done day-in and day-out by professionals. Far better tips, I’m sure, then your pre-teen friends.

On to Taylor’s party…

Ok Taylor – if he’s never had fun and laughed with you and your friends before, what makes you think he’s going to all of a sudden do it now? It’s so sad that as soon as they hop in the limo, he immediately jumps on his phone.

Love, love, love Adrienne’s shoes! Gianfranco Ferre – genius! However, it need not be said, my heart belongs to Louboutin.

So Kim is drunk. That’s obvious from the first sight of her. She looks drunk every time she’s on camera. And, according to the reunion teaser, this may be more of a serious issue. For now though, she’s just a drunken former child actress.

Now, on to Russell’s speech. So freaking impersonal! Truly, how could you not have more to say than “she’s really hot” about your wife, your best friend? Awful! I think Lisa’s right about Taylor craving the Beverly Hills lifestyle over her own happiness. Dumb! And then even more stupid to confront Kim at her own party. Of course, in true Housewives fashion, they all decide to get into it in front of the entire party. Good times.

I don’t even know what to say about this argument between Kim and Kyle. With sisters of my own, I couldn’t imagine fighting with them like that. End of season briefing says they haven’t talked in weeks. Sad. I’m interested to see where they stand now when the reunion airs.

As for Lisa, I’m glad she finally made Cedric move out. He completely took advantage of her. I don’t care what his background is. You should never take advantage of your friends.

Taylor, Taylor, Taylor. She’ll probably never leave that boring geek. I guess as long as he’s still paying for her lip injections, she’ll stick around.

I love the Maloofs. Yes, I am aware that Paul’s last name is not Maloof but does it really matter? I don’t think there is anything wrong with their marriage. Bickering is normal. People who get along all the time scare me. So bicker on Bickersons.

Kim – you need help. I knew that before I knew you had a drinking problem. I can’t wait until this woman has to watch herself on television. Hopefully she’s sober enough to take it all in.

And Camille – her situation is really sad. I think she’ll be just fine though. I mean, Nick is bound to get a divorce any day now so…. But really, she seemed pretty good at flirting while she was married so I’m sure dating won’t be a problem.

Last but not least – Kyle. You are so right: friends are great but there is nothing like a sister so stop acting like a Beverly Hills snob and make things right.

Oh, excuse the jumpiness. This episode was a little here and there and I’m just writing as I go.

Well, my RHOBH fans – it’s sad to see the season end but I am so anxious for the reunion. See you all next week for what is sure to be the best reunion yet.

Kim vs. Nene - Round I (well, this season)

For a second, I actually thought that the “Tardy for the Party” ringtone was for Kim’s phone. I have to say her face when she saw Nene talking crap about her on her TV show was priceless. And I love that she is shocked to see the rural parts of Georgia. I guess it is pretty hard to see through that wig.

I love that Cynthia and Peter are having so many problems and they are each on totally different pages. Cynthia seems to think she is a partner in “their” business and Peter doesn’t seem to think he needs to clue her in on anything. Aside from the fact that they’ve been planning this extravagant wedding when they have no money. So Cynthia gets upset and Peter’s response is that he will “never, ever tell her anything again.” Yes. Further lack of communication is sure to solve all of your problems. My goodness, why did you ever think you needed to see a marriage counselor?!

On a designer note – I think Phaedra’s kitchen is, by far, the ugliest. And for the one housewife who actually uses it (and by use I mean cooks herself – not hire a chef to cook for you), you would think she would want to spruce it up a bit.

If only I could write Nene’s facial expressions during Kim’s performance. They were truly priceless. I just don’t get how anyone could listen to her and then look her in the eye and tell her “that was good.”

“Clearly, she’s jealous of my success.” Really, Kim?! Really?! That is wonderful! I am totally siding with Nene on this one. And I love that Kim keeps insisting that so much work goes into singing a song each night. Keyword being “a.” Did you miss that? You may have. Because I said “a,” yes, “a’ song. Just one. She has really talked herself into this one. I’m just waiting for Nene to rip Kim’s wig off. Shouldn’t be too hard since it looks like it’s about to fall off at any second. And then Kim goes to confide in who else but the bus driver.

Off to Miami next week.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Delayed flight to ATL routed through Newark

I'm sorry to disappoint Housewives fans tonight but I'm sure you've already been lucky enough to catch the latest drama from the Atlanta ladies. I, on the other hand, am not as fortunate. My steadfast DVR failed me (yet again) and my RHOA did not record this week (along with The Bachelor). So tonight, we will instead visit my long lost siblings from the Jersey Shore.

Now although this is my first entry on these spectacular east coasters, I have been a fan of the show since the beginning. This week, Sammi is still insane, Mike is still egotistical and Snooki is still drunk.

The Kitchen Ditchin’ – Mike’s signature move. It’s fantastic. It’s always been funny but it’s even better when he does it to his own roommate, especially Deena. Just when you thought there could be no one more annoying than Angelina, there’s Deena.

Nobody is crazier than Sammi. She has some serious trust issues. Don’t get me wrong, any girl is bound to have trust issues after the whole Ronnie/Miami fiasco, but don’t go accusing him of things when he’s spent every waking moment in a tiny bedroom having limited, boring conversation with you. Ever heard of “deny until you die” Sammi? Well, look it up. He’s not going to say a thing. Now you’ve just gone and made him mad so guess what – he’s going to go out with MVP, bring girls back home and now you’re stuck with no friends and no one to talk to.

Oh, Karma. This has to be such a waste-of-a-club now that these people have partied in the hottest nightclubs around the country. Obviously they respect it – I mean JWoww peed on the floor. If that’s not respect, I don’t know what is.

Question: What’s the difference between Snooki and drunk Snooki?
Answer: Her BAC level

Other than that, not much of a difference, am I right? Well, maybe balance and the ability to make slightly better choices.

Next week, we see if Snooki makes it out of jail. Oh wait, we already saw this on TMZ didn’t we? Well, that’s no fun.

Until next time…

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Watch What Happens with Karma Camilleon

Tonight’s poll: “Would you have gone to the Tony’s with Kelsey if you were in Camille’s shoes?”

My answer: I suppose. For both the effort to work things out and to keep away the media frenzy that would come along with the couple being split.


OK - so the admittance on Camille’s part that they weren’t having sex completely explains why he left her. My mom always told me “if he’s not sleeping with you, he’s sleeping with someone else.” I guess Camille’s mom never told her that.

It’s so weird – they show the clips from the season and I can’t stand her but all-in-all, I really like Camille after this episode. I feel shame. I feel dirty. Too late. Once it’s out there, it’s out there. I’ll let you know if I regret it after the reunion.

In the meantime, maybe we’ll see Camille on Millionaire Matchmaker.

The Real Camille of Beverly Hills

I feel like I'm back to New Jersey. The one incident that keeps coming up "the New York brawl" is beginning to remind me of the infamous book. When, oh when will it go away?

I do like Lisa though. She's real. And no matter how snippy her comments are, she always sounds elegant. I really want to have a British accent in my next life. The complete opposite of Lisa would be Camille, usually. This episode, I actually feel like we are getting to see the real Camille and, unfortunately, I’m actually beginning to like her – sort of.

Cut to Kyle - shopping for her daughter's college graduation present. A platinum diamond ring?! She's going to have to find one hell of a man to compete with that. Can I just say that Kyle’s ex-husband, Guacamole…Guantanamo…whatever his name – he’s boring. This whole graduation made me love Kyle a little more. I was a little weary after the whole Camille battle but this just showed how real she is – at least when it comes to her family.

And finally! An explanation to Kim's strange ways. Her mom pushed her dreams of becoming an actress onto her. Stage Mom 101: your child will have major issues. Proof: Kim Richards.

And then there's Adrienne. Love her! But you should never take your husband shopping. Normally, you would just grab his credit card and go but in her case, there’s no need for that so really, why include him at all?

Back to Lisa – my idol. Wearing a pair of Louboutins whilst walking around a vineyard. Love, love, love. And that pink hat was adorable. But this whole thing with Cedric, it’s a little weird. I mean, I understand his background and I get why Lisa would want to be there for him but he’s an adult. Clip his diamond encrusted wings and make him move on with his life.

OK – now back to Camille. Cattiness aside and ignoring her kiss on the lips to Nick and the snide comment about 13 years of marriage to her soon-to-be ex, she really did look amazing in that red dress.

I am so looking forward to the season finale next week. Though, I am slightly devastated it’s all ending so quickly. I guess there’s always the reunion!

Good news fellow housewives fans! The crazies from New York are coming back! Only one month of previews before we get to see what is sure to be an underwhelming first episode for their third season. No worries, we’ve got plenty of drama to keep us entertained until then.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

My Reality

I recently had a revelation that maybe I should put my reality TV addiction to good use. I know I'm a few days behind but who truly has time to watch TV as it airs? So I just watched this week's airing of Real Housewives of Atlanta and I was less than impressed. Although, next week's episode looks much more interesting.

Now onto Phaedra and her southern style "sip and see?" Really? I don't know what's more fake - Phaedra's "traditional southern ways" or Kim's hair! Nothing seems more genuine than putting your newborn baby on display while a bunch of adults get drunk and mingle like they actually like each other. And finally, we're on episode one million and five and she opens up about her husband's past. I love that these people forget everything they say and do is on national television. Like we wouldn't eventually find out that he really is a convict.

Oh Kim. Going on tour. She's ridiculous. Whoever told this woman she has any sort of talent should be shot. Really. And who hangs out in their bathrobe with a full face of makeup, completely accessorized? With a single called "The Ring Didn't Mean a Thing," you would think she would take the ring off.

I really like this Don Juan character. He has no problem making fun of Kim to her face and I'm loving every minute of it. The Hungry Hippo would have been a great idea for the name of a bar if it wasn't already a child's game. I did ignore that so I could get a good little chuckle at Kim's expense. I hope they keep this guy around for at least another couple of episodes to make it interesting.

That girl is truly ridiculous. "I knew that song was going to be a hit from the moment I heard it." Really? Does she really believe that? After all that crap she gave Kandi about how she didn't like it? Nothing's going to sound good when it's coming out of her mouth. Accept and move on.

Alright, Cynthia and Peter - word to the wise and to you: If you need a pre-marriage counselor, and you get in a huge, raging battle in front of him, perhaps marriage isn't the answer. Peter is so controlling and Cynthia's insecurities feed right into that. It's a ridiculous relationship and I'm sad for myself that I'm forced to watch it. Well, maybe not forced, but you know what I mean.

So...until tomorrow. Hopefully I'll get to enjoy the festivities of my favorite mess of filthy rich housewives from Beverly Hills tomorrow night. Stay tuned for the next Reali-T Check.